Starting from the Beginning

As I wrote earlier, I still want to stop smoking. I feel weak, because my earlier attempts have failed. I also feel guilty, because I feel that I have let my friends and family down. To be honest, I am pretty sure that my few readers are laughing to me. Well, none of this really matters, because I cannot change the past. That is why I decided to concentrate to the future and started my fourth attempt towards a smoke free life at yesterday (9th of January, 2011). At this time, I will probably be a lot more humble than before. I had to learn in the hard way that too much confidence can seriously hurt my smoking cessation project. I can only hope that I will not make the same mistake again.

When I went to bed last night, I was kind of nervous to see, how my first whole day without smoking goes. It did not start very well, because when I woke up, I was having a mild craving to smoke. Luckily for me, my craving did not last very long. After I finished my workout at the gym, it had totally disappeared. However, the best thing about today was that I did not think about about smoking until I visited a grocery store, which is located near to my apartment.

When I was waiting for my turn to pay my groceries, I noticed the cigarette packs located near the cash register. For a fraction of a second I was considering of buying one pack, but then I realized that I had no urge to smoke. My hands were not shaking. I was not feeling nervous. I was simply hungry and tired after a normal day at the office. I abandoned the idea of buying cigarettes right after I realized that I did not need them. I paid my groceries and walked out of the store.

It felt wonderful. I had just won my first battle against my addiction. If only I would able to understand that my war with it will probably last for the rest of my life. However, that does not have to be a negative thing. After all, I do not want to smoke any more.