Getting Back in the Saddle

By Nicotinist On November 14, 2010 Under Smoking Cessation Diary

Two weeks ago, when I decided to visit a nearby pub, I fell. Naturally, I am speaking metaphorically. After a couple of beers, I decided to smoke a few cigarettes (two to be exact). At the time I did not think about the consequences of my actions. I just simply had an urge to smoke, and I followed it.

Luckily for me, I received my punished in the next morning. It took me the whole weekend to recover, and my throat has been full of slime ever since. At first, this does not seem like a fair price to pay for smoking just a few cigarettes. Actually, you are about to find out that the price is more than fair.

So, I guess the big question is, am I going to start smoking again on a regular basis? Hell no! I made a mistake, and my body reminded me about the dangers of smoking in a very harsh way. Still, I consider myself very lucky, because it seems that my physical addiction to Nicotine has not returned.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about my psychological addiction. My internal addict has been reborn, and he seems to be stronger than ever. I have to relearn that the decision not to smoke is mine to make. I can smoke again whenever I want to, but at the moment, I choose not to smoke.

Did I learn anything? Sure I did. I learned that:

The essence of stopping smoking is to learn, how you can enjoy situations, where you have normally smoked, without smoking. It seems that I have not yet learned, how I can enjoy drinking alcohol with my friends without smoking. Thus, I need to work harder with this area of my life.
If you happen to have a weak moment, and you choose to smoke a cigarette, it does not mean that you have to continue smoking. After all, it was only a one cigarette. It does not have to mean that you are a smoker again. I will repeat this: You don’t have to continue smoking! However, if you do so, you have to acknowledge that it was your own decision. You cannot blame anyone else than yourself.

If you fall off a horse, the best thing you can do, is to get back in the saddle. After I fell, I got up and said to myself: from now on, I choose not to smoke. There is really no reason to feel bad, because of what happened. It is best to accept it, forget that it ever happened, and move on. After all, we can only shape our future.